Don't call me a "computer scientist"

Don't call me a "computer scientist". I'm a coder. I hate computer scientists. If I wanted to deal with people who're more concerned with correctness according to some set of made-up rules than with functionality, I'd go to a church.

Retreating into drugs

Some problems can't be solved by retreating into drugs and alcohol, but thankfully, yours aren't that kind.

Uncles

Is it just me or are all uncles either really cool, or child molestors?

If I were you

If I were you I'd dance naked in the middle of the street just to embarrass you.

LSD

There are two major products that come out of Berkeley; LSD and BSD Unix. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.

Generalizing

I'm generalizing from one example, here, but everyone generalizes from one example. At least, I do.